Most of my past New Years resolutions seem to come from a negative space. If I'm feeling fat, I resolve to exercise more. If I'm sick of being broke, I resolve to work harder toward that promotion or spend less time ordering drinks at the bar. The majority of the time these resolutions don't last beyond the second week of January. The beginning of this new year finds me in a slightly different state of mind than those before. This year I am overweight not because of alcoholic beverages and fried foods, but because I have so far lacked the ambition to shed these ten or so post-pregnancy pounds. And our "just above the poverty level" household income is due to the fact that we believe it's better for me to raise our infant rather than some anonymous daycare worker. Rather than dwell on the negative, I have resolved to begin the New Year with a post about things I love.
Among the things that follow, I have one big, big love of the year. I loved being pregnant. I loved feeling
Zoey kick and stretch inside of me. I loved the thought that she was growing, each minute detail so perfectly created day by day. I loved the moment that I realized I was going into labor (and thought I would soon meet our little girl,) and the nearly three day experience that followed, frustrating that it was, because it meant that she was on her way.
1. The smile on my daughter's face when she wakes in the morning.
2. Seeing a wedding band again on my husband's finger. (He lost the first band last year sometime.)
3. The cobalt blue of a winter sky just after the sun has set.
4. Soft creamy paper and a fountain pen.
5. The clicking together of wooden knitting needles.
6. The rush of
exhilaration when an artistic endeavor is finished, or begun.
7. Excited voices singing to God in a crowded room.
8. The quiet, electric buzz that hangs in the room when our community group is in prayer.
9. The smell of cedar and ferns and pyrite when days are dry and I am hiking.
10.
Over saturation of color in French films.
11. Anything that reminds me of my Grandmother (long list, be warned...)
hot dog buns baking in the oven, needle arts, I Love Lucy, Heidi, bowling, simple German phrases, marigolds, Red Pop floats, Big Boy (especially the Slim Jim Sandwich and cup of soup she always ordered,) lunch at
Jacobsen's, walking with her up and down her driveway, playing
Candyland, Wheel of Fortune, & Solitaire, and dressing up in her and my Grandfather's old clothes. I so wish my daughter
Zoey could have met her.
12. Pedestrian cities, even if I get a little panicky when I'm turned around.
13. Coffee from a French press.
14. Spices like Curry and Ginger.
15. The book of James.
16. Waking up before sunrise and having a purpose, somewhere to be.
17. Yoga - the way it makes me feel longer, taller and lighter.
18. Camping - the drowsiness of sitting around a campfire and the chill of the Earth after waking up in a tent.
19. The lush greenery of my Husband's Grandfather's place in the summer.
20. Driving down gravel roads in search of old architectural relics that time seems to have forgotten.
Mostly, more than anything, I love that God has given me this fantastic Husband, Daughter and life. I love that he has brought me to Him and opened my heart enough to let me fully appreciate it. I am so grateful.
